he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
