Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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