It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I think people are normalizing furries
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize