my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
