Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
