OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
