is this the sara with the beer cane?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
