dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
