the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
