He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
