Whod you bang
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
