I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
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Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
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I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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