3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
