he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
