Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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