I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
this boner is exhausting
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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