we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
