he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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