Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
