Whod you bang
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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