You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize