my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
