Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
