ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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