out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize