Me too!
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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