Can Purell be used as lube?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
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