she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i love accidental penises.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
