It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
