You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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