I like my sex mixed with concussions.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
