That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
