I want to stick my p in your. b.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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