I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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