He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Randomize
