a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
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Some one left their pants in the elevator.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
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