saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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