Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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