ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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