Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
