I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
