Yo dont text me then not text me
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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