I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize