This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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