I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
