i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
