Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
