just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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