In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
All the doctor said was why
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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