Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
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he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize