i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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