Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
