We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
