I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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