Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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