Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
