I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
