oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
