hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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