All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
