But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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