so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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